photography by James Field

Following on from the San San Kudo ceremony we moved on to our vows and our ring exchange.

My Vows

photography by James Field

How do I put in to words all that you mean to me?

You are my comfort and support, through the best and the worst times.  You understand and encourage me to fully by myself, even in the times that I find this difficult to do.  Steadfast in your unselfishness, with a sense of fun and a joy in life that brings brightness to the longest most boring day.

Today is the day that I promise to always be there for us.  To stand up for our best interests, to make you laugh and make all things easier together.  Today I commit to making this life together the best that it can be, because today we become family.        I love you.

Wolff’s vows

photography by James Field

Lila, trying to find words to tell you how I feel seems futile, because I know there aren’t words strong enough.  I also know that this is the happiest moment of my life.  I love you more than I can possibly put in to words, with all that I am.  I’m so glad to call you my wife & so happy to spend the rest of my life at your side.  I love you, and I always will.

photography by James Field

The ring exchange

Celebrant

This is the point in the ceremony when I usually talk about the wedding bands being a perfect circle, having no beginning and no end. But we all know that these rings do have a beginning. Rock is dug up from the earth. Metal is liquefied in a furnace at a thousand degrees. Hot metal is poured into a mold, cooled, and then painstakingly polished. Something beautiful is made from raw elements.

Love is like that. It’s hot, dirty work. It comes from humble beginnings, made by imperfect beings. It’s the process of making something beautiful where there was once nothing at all.

With that in mind, may I have the rings?

photography by James Field

We had the kids look after the rings on necklaces that we got for them.

photography by James Field

Then we each alternated with the ring exchange vows

Request – With this ring I ask for your fidelity and trust, your equality and partnership, your ears and your mouth, your steadfastness and your chaos, your passion and your comfort and most of all I ask that you keep me til death do us part.

photography by James Field

Response – I accept this ring and promise to be faithful and trusting, to reach up to be your equal and lift you up to be my partner, to listen and to say, to be constant and ever-changing, to your be lover and a soft place for you to rest and above all to keep you forever.

And with the pronouncement from the celebrant our wedding was done, and we did what I had been dying to do the whole time I had been standing on the stage, we kissed.

photography by James Field

I’ve already posted our lego ceremony here so I will skip that and go straight in the rest of the ceremony.

Super groomsman B did the first (and only) reading for us.  He did amazingly well seeing this was sprung on him very last minute.  We didn’t go conventional for the reading, but it fit well, I had chosen it thinking that the Wolff would choose a second reading but he opted out and I decided not to add a second reading either.

photography by James Field

So long, and Thanks for All the Fish – Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy

They looked at each other for a moment.

The moment became a longer moment, and suddenly it was a very long moment, so long one could hardly tell where all the time was coming from.

For Arthur, who could usually contrive to feel self-conscious if left alone for long enough with a Swiss cheese plant, the moment was one of sustained revelation. He felt on the sudden like a cramped and zoo-born animal who awakes one morning to find the door to his cage hanging quietly open and the savannah stretching grey and pink to the distant rising sun, while all around new sounds are waking.

He wondered what the new sounds were as he gazed at her openly wondering face and her eyes that smiled with a shared surprise.

He hadn’t realized that life speaks with a voice to you, a voice that brings you answers to the questions you continually ask of it, had never consciously detected it or recognized its tones till it now said something it had never said to him before, which was “Yes”.

After the reading we went on to our 2nd ceremony the San San Kudo again Super best man B assisted by pouring the sake in to their bowls.

Photography by James Field

We then took three sips from each of our three bowls while my Aunty the celebrant read out the explanation of San San Kudo

Photography by James Field

Here I am showing just how delicious straight alcohol is when you have an empty stomach.

Photography by James Field

I really felt our whole ceremony very deeply but partaking in San San Kudo was a very grounding experience.

We were determined that our wedding start at exactly 8.30pm.  We made sure we were back at the venue with five minutes to spare and tucked ourselves away in the front room while we waited.

photography by James Field

Photography by James Field

photography by James Field

Our wedding party had taken their places on the stage and I kept peeking around the corner trying to see what was going on . At about 2 mins to go people sneak out for a smoke despite being told not to.   So later than we wanted (not by much luckily) the music was cued and we started THE walk.

I remember tightly gripping his hand, I remember pulling him back because he was walking too fast for me.

photography by James Field

I just wanted to take our time, to really absorb where we were headed.

photography by James Field

The strange thing is I can’t remember anything but us.

I heard the music as we turned the corner and then it went silent, I know that the music continued to play but I didn’t hear it.

I could feel his hand wrapped in mine and his pulse through my fingertips.

I could see him and feel the massive smile on my face, but around us it was clouded.

Almost like being underwater, I was so fully immersed in the walk that everything else was distorted and softened around us.

photo by Wolffmother

He helped me us the stairs and we took our places and it all began…

We got to our venue, tied up some loose ends and left Super-bestman B in charge

photography by James Field

we went off to search for a few moments of peace and togetherness

photography by James Field

photography by James Field

photography by James Field

photography by James Field

A practice dance on the rooftop – which was less awkward than actually dancing in front of everyone surprise, surprise

photography by James Field

photography by James Field

and when we were ready (and nearly out of time)

we headed back down to our wedding

photography by James Field

Because we like to do things our way and the whole not seeing each other before the wedding wasn’t for us (as if you didn’t already know that); we had some group shots done before the wedding.  We are lucky enough to live two minutes drive from some lovely bushland (and 15 minutes from the city – have I mentioned I really don’t want to move), so that’s where we headed off to for pre-wedding photos.

photography by James Field

photography by James Field

photography by James Field

We laughed a lot that day, mostly because of the guys doing things like this

photography by James Field

Rocks, not so great to sit on

photography by James Field

photography by James Field

This shot really reminds me of Alice in Wonderland, Wolff wonders why his head is oddly shaped

photography by James Field

photography by James Field

photography by James Field

I brought a bit of the bush land back with me and adjusted my daughters boots

photography by James Field

photography by James Field

And we were on our way to our venue

Once we had finished our relaxing morning we got home to the beginning swirls of chaos.

On our doorstep was one of my bridesladies and her husband who had been locked out of my house (apparently the person who had locked them out finds this funny).  A phone call soon after revealed that the best man and my son had been abandoned at the shopping centre and noone was around to go and get things we needed to be organised.

I set to crumb coating the cake while Wolff went and got some important things I had left at the hotel room and collected his other groomsman.  Let me say making the cake would have been a far easier experience if the icing had not caused me so much grief OR if I had given in earlier and went with the back-up plan for icing.

photography by James Field

Several phone calls later I realised that the person I had requested get the things I needed to finish the cake was never going to get back in time and sent my brideslady out to get the back up plan. Incidentally I had nearly finished icing the cake at around 4.30 when plan A arrived with the raw ingredients for the icing.

photography by James Field

I was fast running out of time and Brideslady J’s husband J made a valiant effort to stop time for me.

photography by James Field

In between layers of icing the cake was done I tried to calmly reapply my make up and restyle my hair our house was filled to the brim with people at this stage so much zoning out to others was required.  I think we can see I have become an expert at zoning out.

photography by James Field

photography by James Field

Once my hair and make-up were and the cake were done I helped Brideslady L do her hair and makeup and Brideslady J got herself all pertied up.

photography by James Field

The Wolff gave his boys a crash course in tying their ties

photography by James Field

And helped me get the dress on

photography by James Field

I found that a quick play on the drums eases tension, but also makes me look like a spaz.

photography by James Field

a quick dab of perfume and we were ready to go

photography by James Field

Where were we going?  It’s a secret…

photography by James Field

Truth be told we spent most of the Saturday getting ready as well as the Sunday,  mostly because the icing gave me hell and random bursts of people running around in circles slowed things down.  In some ways this was good and essentially it happened how it was meant to happen.

We finally got to our hotel at 11pm the night before the wedding and apart from the accidental wake up call at 6am (people somehow opening our door) we had a lovely night and a good start to our wedding day.

We got ready slowly and put on the outfits we had picked for some pre-wedding photography and went out for the morning with our photographer James.

We went to the markets, some parks and just walked around town,  I don’t have anything particularly poetic to say about the start to our day but I think it really builds the case for late weddings.  I’m pretty sure friends who have had to get up at 5 or 6 in the morning to start getting ready for their afternoon weddings would agree with me, the more time to do what you need to do or ignore what you need to do on the day the better.  I didn’t have time to be nervous because we had something to do all day, but it was lovely to just spend time together that morning, (with James along who really just felt like having an old friend around) enjoying each others company before the chaos of the wedding appeared.

photography by James Field

photography by James Field

photography by James Field

photography by James Field

When we finished wandering and had lunch we went home and started really getting ready…

So they are AH-MAY-ZING.  We knew that James was great but it’s so nice to see photos of me that I actually love (I don’t like being photographed).

I’m too busy looking at them over and over again to write a proper post so I’ll leave you with a sneak peak of how happy our day was.

A big thanks to our wonderful photographer for capturing our day perfectly

Thanks

James

www.jame.com.au

We get our photos on Monday which is very exciting, I figure the best way to share them is to go through the events leading up to and right through the wedding.  Seeing I don’t have the photos yet and I have already gone over our few days before there might be some repetition here, but hopefully I have some new things to say / show about the lead up to the wedding now that I have a little distance.

My Henna on the Thursday is what really signaled the start for me. But I’ve said plenty on that subject.

If you want to see what the lovely Humna who did the work has to say go here

The henna gave us a night together away from organising and checking that we had things done.   It also gave us time away from the frustration that seems to surround most weddings.  It forced me to rely on the Wolff as I could not touch anything and do things for myself while the henna dried including opening the car door or putting my seat belt on.  This was a struggle for me as I have learnt to be very independent but it was a lovely lesson in knowing that I had a partner who will wait on me hand and foot and remind me to slow down.

It was just so beautiful how a indulging in such an amazing tradition can help remind you of the amazing process that you and your partner are going through when getting married.

The Henna has since faded with only the last small vestiges clinging to the sides of my feet.

But the understanding of the need to take time out and be cared for is still clearly imprinted on me.

If you’ve been reading the name saga, we went through a hard time making the name decision.

I don’t feel that it is a feminist argument (because if you retain your name you are still retaining a paternal linage in most cases).

But I also don’t believe that changing your name should be automatic, it’s a decision that can only be made by the couple after hopefully examining how they feel about it.

Our plan in the end was that Wolff would add a new name that we had chosen together to his family name, which he did.

Then after marriage I would combine the new name with my surname.

This became a hassle, because he had a double last name now I either had to combine all of them and have a triple last name OR go through the name change process myself to add the new name to mine.

I thought about doing this, but then it would add to the already extensive paper trail that is attached to my name.  Which I guess would be fine.  But the acceptance that his family has shown me made me sad that I would not be taking on their name (this is neither logical or clever I know).

So I took the easy out; I took his last name + our last name, and I like it.

I could pretend that it was due to sentimentality over his family but it wasn’t

I am lazy people, that is all.