Names – part six million and thirty seven

The name thing has been a struggle for us, I think it is for most people.

I didn’t want to take his name mostly because it is common and while significant to him it doesn’t have any resonance for me. The whole who is going to carry on the name was a bit of a moot point seeing that it is a common name, but I can see where it is a concern for some.

He didn’t want to take my surname as it is too “feminine” for him.

Sometimes I think that we will have seperate last names, but I’d rather find the middle ground. Which we seem to have settled on but it really depends on him getting his arse into gear and organising it.

Hopefully we will be taking a new last name and each combining it with our current last name.  Hopefully if we do have a baby then they will just have the new last name.

I had thought about doing the legal name change prior to the wedding and then for him to just use the wedding certificate to update his.  But I spotted this on the SA Office of Consumer Affairs website:

Is a change of name necessary?

It is not necessary for a married woman wishing to assume her husband’s surname to register a change of name. However, should the married man wish to assume his wife’s surname, it is recommended that he formally register a change of name for it to be recognised in society.

Seriously?  It’s recommended because Australian society is still so backward that if a man goes against the norm to adopt his wife’s name he has to incur further cost and inconvenience.  But if a woman adopts her husbands name all she has to do is wave around the wedding certificate.  It’s so wrong that this even needs to be a recommendation, if it was only me who had to go through the inconvenience then I would be changing my name before and his after just to challenge people and to normalise the idea that either partner, or both, or none should be able to change their name on marriage.

Why do things that should be simple remain a pain in the arse?

Sophie Begg loveliness

I’ve been after a shrug and have thought about making one but I just couldn’t quite find anything that would work with my dress and not overpower it.   I saw something I really liked in Bride to Be magazine this month, but put the idea to the side, until the lovely West Aussie Wedding posted it the other day.

Sophie Begg

I went back to the magazine to look for the stockist, there was only a mobile number and seeing it was pretty late at night I thought that was a bad idea.  After a fairly quick googling I found an email address via Rosemont Australia Fashion Week.  I emailed Sophie (yes the designer herself – kind of exciting for me) and she answered me straight away.

Unfortunately they are sold out in shops… fortunately Sophie has said she can make me some to order.  So little happy dance for me, a bit more than I was going to spend but when I see something I love rational spending often goes out the window.  So a big thanks to West Aussie Wedding for inadvertantly adding to my wedding outfit.

Ties that tie in

 

I ordered ties for the two groomsguys this week, another Etsy buy

Toybreaker on Etsy

The design ties in with our aisle marker vinyls which arrived the other day

Popwall on Etsy

We got them in red instead of the pink.

Hopefully the venue gives them the go ahead (they want to see them before they give the ok)

Back on the cuff

I had seen this photo before and loved it, but mostly my focus was on the flowers in her hair and how vibrant everything was.

via West Aussie Wedding

But now that I am really focusing on the finer details of the wedding and our outfits the bracelets have caught my eye.  The unfortunate thing is I can’t find anything with a similar feel to these.

I like the idea of stacking bangles / bracelets to go for that sort of bohemian glamour feel.

I also quite like these from Etsy

from TheBeadGirl on Etsy

On a trip to the jeweller that we got my engagement ring from last weekend, I found a set of five beautiful irregular mexican silver stacking bangles.  I grabbed them, they look great although I am yet to try them on with the dress.

But I still think I would love some sort of jewelled cuff to go with them…

all I need to know is where I should be looking

In the ground

We planted the Dahlias Sunday, my man put the stakes in and we both dug the holes.

For a few days before we had the ground covered in newspaper.

then Sunday night after the soil was nice and soft from all the rain we dug, staked, and planted.

So now I have to play the waiting game to see if we will have flowers for the wedding.  In the meantime we do need to mulch and continue weed control as they really like that garden bed.  I am hoping to plant some veggies around them too.

When things keep creeping back

There have been quite a few things that I have crossed off my to do list the last few weeks, and a fair chunk of them that have crept back on again.  It’s a bit annoying to say the least.

I had finished the Brideswomens dresses, a fitting revealed that that wasn’t so, only minor adjustments but still.

I had ordered napkins for serving the cake (we are planning on serving the cake ourselves).  But received an email to tell me that they no longer stocked them.*

The earrings I had originally ordered had the same problem as the napkins.

It all works out in the end but with 61 days to go until the wedding having wasted anytime on something that turns out to be unproductive is a bit frustrating.

Thankfully 90% of what is left really can be done without if it comes to it.  I have also set myself a cut off of Christmas Eve, because I just can’t stand the thought of another 60 days of running around doing wedding stuff, I’m well over shopping.

So from now on Christmas Eve is known as the F*ck It Line, once that date is crossed any prep work not done falls in to the F*ck It category and no longer applies to our wedding.

*Seriously if you are going to run an online business how about you keep your stock up to date, and when you discontinue something remove it.

Plastic fantastic

There are very few things we deemed must haves for the wedding, and this weekend one appeared (even though we had forgotten them). So we grabbed our piece of childhood nostalgia

Cocktail animals, which for both of us featured in the boredom that was being taken to the pub for a counter meal as a kid.  Also we both think the mermaid is a B*tch cause she won’t balance properly on the cup.

While they don’t match anything else in the wedding I could care less, I refuse to have a theme.

Favours that…

…Sh*t me.

Mixed CDs - I’m not going to go in to the fact that often they are full of songs that I wouldn’t listen to unless forced, you can’t accommodate every guests personal taste. What I am going to say is this, it’s stealing on a fairly large scale. I’ll turn a blind eye to people downloading and burning for personal use, but to burn a CD of songs and distribute it to your guests is f’d up.  Seriously you are disrespecting artists that you clearly admire so that you can impress / inflict your taste in music on your guests. And what exactly are you saying, our love as a couple is so important that it gives us a free pass to take someones work, use it and not have to pay for them.

Clearly this does not go for anyone musical who makes a CD of their music to give to their guests, that is their work and their choice to distribute how they please.

Plastic Shit - Which doesn’t actually have to be plastic, I’m talking about stuff that guests will pick up out of politeness and dump as soon as possible.  I have seen the expensive waste from weddings past, cinderella coaches with happily ever after ribbon, heart shaped frames, other twee crap. Mostly these things fall into the category of a wedding that is all about the bride, pink, fluffy and something the groom had no involvement in.

Charity donations – I think that donations to charity are a fantastic thing, but I think that donating to a charity as a gift when someone has not expressly requested it is presumputous and wrong. First of all you are potentially choosing something that your guests do not support and secondly you are really not giving a favour at all.  Go ahead and make a donation in the name of your wedding as a couple, or request it as a gift but don’t try and call it a gift for someone who hasn’t asked or hasn’t explicitly said that they too support your favourite cause.

…Are cliche but I love

Jordan Almonds - I hate almonds, they taste weird and don’t smell good, but the symbolism of Jordan Almonds captures the point of wedding favours before it was another commercialised addition to the wedding checklist.

Lolly bars / lollipops – I like sugar enough said.

…I love

Quirky favours – Anything a bit different.  The fourtune teller fish or happy eyes glasses.  Sure these are highly disposable but they are also fun.  I’m sure people could lump these in as plastic crap too but to me if it is fun, it is memorable and therefore over-rides any disposable factor. We thought about novelty plastic glasses because we have a few sets around the house that we put on to amuse each other  / ourselves.

Practical favours – Anything that can really be used again (unlike most bridesmaids dresses) is great in my book, even personalised matches and candles.

Meaningful favours – And no the CDs do not redeem themselves by fitting in this category, they are as shallow as the grave I think Twilight should be buried in.  Things that actually mean something to the couple and that hopefully the guests will “get” too.  Things that people make themselves and not just because home made weddings are currently fashionable.  Something that says, thanks for coming here’s a little piece of us to take with you and remind you that we love you.

No favours – Yes I like no favours too, they really aren’t a necessity so if they are not fun for you, or are not something that is a priority, or your wallet can’t take a further hit, absolutely DO NOT do them, throw the favour anxiety in the bin and walk away.  Your guests will not be pissed that you didn’t give them a gift.

Delayed Bliss

So due to my newish job and the lack of a budget we have decided on taking the delayed honeymoon route.  Not too long or it won’t feel like a honeymoon, but with our schedules being hard to align it is either April or wait a year, so it’s April.  Which will also coincide with my lovely mans’ birthday, so I think that will help make up for having to wait.

Much like the wedding we are going to pay for the trip in stages to try and make it easier to afford and with any luck not have to borrow anything.

At the moment we nearly have enough for our flights and I’m hoping we get enough together before the flights go up. (I am greedily hoping that the in-laws who have generously offered a great contribution decide to give it to us soon so we can use it for the flights.)

We also thanks to my mum have enough in the cash card for a dinner at the Eiffel Tower – which is absolutely exhorbitant but how many chances are we going to have to try it out?

Other than that there are Louvre tickets, Metro passe, accommodation and Disneyland to account for, we are by the way going the full cliche – if you’re going to honeymoon in Paris you may as well go all out.

 

Shrugging it off

We had originally set our wedding for a mid-winter date, when planning for this I knitted myself  beautiful shrug from bamboo, it is soft, silky and absolutely useless for a wedding held in late January especially seeing that we have already been hitting close to 40 degrees celcius this summer.

But I’m still enamoured with the wedding shrug and I’m going to make some light ethereal bit of fluff to adorn my shoulders that night.

I would happily buy any of these but I kind of have to justify owning a dress makers dummy so I will be making my own so will be drawing inspiration from them instead.

 

 

Rococco Tea Stain by Bonzie on Etsy

 

 

Holly Stalder on Etsy

Sophie Benoit via Peonies and Polaroids

via East Side Bride

also via East Side Bride